Please don't hang up
Friday, March 17, 2006
Grandpa, I miss you!
My grandfather recently passed away in 11/05. I was very close to him. My grandmother and I were once very close as well, but in the past five years she's gotten dementia and our relationship changed drastically. My grandfather (rest his soul) quickly took her place in my life and we became fast friends. (Not that we weren't friends before mind you.) My grandfather has played a huge part in my life concerning my outlook on life and my feelings about God and faith. Any time I had questions in my life about anything, he was the man I called. Over the past years, I've taken one week of my two weeks vacation and spent it with him and my grandmother in Florida, making trips to the beach, eating Grandma's cookin' and lazing around. My grandparents always said that they felt so honored that their 9 grandchildren would come to visit them so much and how blessed they were to have such a loving family. I enjoyed these times more than anyone knows and am so blessed to have all those memories of them.

Grandpa arrived here in Ohio in October. My first night seeing him, I was shocked. A once tall, broad man now appeared shrunken and tired, his face hollow and his body shallow with weight loss. His eyes had the same spark, though now dimmed but he seemed tired and wistfull. I ran to greet him as though I was 5 again and was saddened by the frail arms that hugged me and his gruff voice (once soothing) mumbling how glad he was to see me. His time here in Ohio was short, as his failing health caught up with him after a week and half here and he was quickly placed in the hospital.

Among the doctors and nurses, my grandfather slipped away slowly day by day and I suddenly found myself preparing my heart and mind for his death. He died a short 6 days after he was admitted.

I was able to share my thoughts and feelings with him before his death. I remember vividly pressing my warm hand into his cool one, tears streaming down my face as I finally told my grandfather what a huge role he had played in my life. My feelings like my tears, gushed out and at times I found it hard to even catch my breath while I was pouring my heart out to him. It was important to me to let him know how much he had changed me as a person, how much he meant to me and how much, if something were to happen, I would miss him. His now gruff voice, soothed my soul as he told me how grateful he was to have me as his granddaughter and how my life would go on, I was young mind you and how much he loved me and my family. He then included that should I ever want to see him again, in Heaven, I would have to straighten up my life and find the Lord. He impressed to me that I had already been shown the way by him and my upbringing and how much he wanted to see me on that "great other side." I was moved in ways I never imagined. All this week (of his hospitalization) I had never once thought of God or of Heaven. I had only questioned in my selfish manner, why this was happening and why was my grandpa so sick, after being such a wonderful man! No one deserved to be sick or die this way! Now, I sat stunned that even in his greatest illness, he was "witnessing" to me about his faith and his God. People from his church gathered around him and my family during his final hours, praying and "witnessing" as well.

His death was so hard on me. I miss him daily but I do have knowledge now...I will see him again! I was saved not long ago. By the Grace of God. I will see you again Grandpa...I can't wait!!
posted by Susan @ 9:20 AM  
  • At 10:18 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    beautiful man....i miss my grand pa 2...!!

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Name: Susan
Home: Hamilton, Ohio, United States
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