Please don't hang up
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
I'm off to see the wizard!
Well guys, a little over 12 hours to go, till Operation Tonsil removel.

It is unfortunate but I will be unable to blog until I return to work on 3/6/06. If I can get access to a computer during my "down time", I will for sure be here to tell you guys how I am. As I know, the whole five people that read my blog will be worried about me! :)

Please know that I will miss you but will be back soon! :) Please don't forget me while I am gone.

Much computer love to all! Talk to you soon!

PS - If you are up and remember, please pray for me around 7:30AM EST time.

posted by Susan @ 4:22 PM   6 comments
What kind of coffee are you?
You Are a Cappuccino

You're fun, outgoing, and you love to try anything new.
However, you tend to have strong opinions on what you like.
You are a total girly girly at heart - and prefer your coffee with good conversation.
You're the type that seems complex to outsiders, but in reality, you are easy to please

Found this website on website. I thought it was neat! :)

posted by Susan @ 10:47 AM   0 comments
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
I have another friend! Check her out! Her blog makes me smile EVERY SINGLE DAY!

That "harem" is coming along! :)

Okay, so some people don't really know what an allergy bracelet is. So, here I come to save the day.....

An allergy bracelet is like a form of identification you can wear, on a bracelet or necklace, stating that medical personnel should be alerted to the fact that you are allergic to something. Say, you are in an accident and you have left your purse at home, if you have a allergy bracelet on, the paramedic can identify immediately if you are allergic to a certain type of medication or food or bug. See this website for more (because even my explanation confused me.) It's like a medical ID.

I hope this helps!

I am so happy! I made new friends. All because my friends Kelsey & Jeana told me to surf around and leave comments for people. YOU ALL MAKE ME SO WARM AND FUZZY! :)

posted by Susan @ 3:50 PM   2 comments
Happy Tuesday!
First things first - I made a new friend! Check her out! ( She even promised that she'd add me to her favorites! (So of course, I am telling everyone about her to win bonus points.)

Now I think I have a total of 4 people reading my blog. How happy am I? :) Maybe, I will be able to start my own harem. Just kidding. Calm down.

So, the verdict seems to be in. I should "design" my own allergy bracelet. I think I will work on that while I am off with my tonsil thing. I can't even draw a stick figure correctly but I will try.

Dad was released from the hospital yesterday. Today, he is tired but sounds better. He's staying at his mothers for a week or so to get better. THANKS TO EVERYONE FOR THE PRAYERS!

Kitties are great! I was at my grandmother's last night (dropping dad off) and they have three cats. All I heard was "Aren't they cute?" "Aren't they big?" And all I kept thinking is "Lady, my cats could kick your cats butt anyday!" I'm so mean. :)

Less then 2 days for tonsil removel!

Let's see, what else was I going to tell you guys...? I guess nothing!

Happy Tuesday everyone!

posted by Susan @ 12:52 PM   3 comments
Friday, February 17, 2006
Why all the ugliness?
My mother has been hounding me for months about getting an allergy bracelet. So, today, while at work, I decided to surf around for one on the internet. I have picked up pamphlets in the past and wasn't interested. So, here I am, surfing around, thinking to find something remotely attractive to wear around my neck or my wrist. I clicked away at a few sites, humming to myself...and was confronted with things that are...


Seriously now, why do these things have to be disgustingly hideous? I'm pretty much of a plain Jane so I wanted something simple and tasteful. Didn't happen. I am depressed about this. I really need to get one and I'm really not wanting to buy something that does not appeal to me.

Suggestions anyone?

*Disclaimer - For all of you out there that have "standard" allergy bracelets or charms, I'm sorry...I'm picky! :)

Now I have the kids song in my head...if you don't know it, here goes: (In best cheerleading voice)
U G L ain't got no UGLY...yeah yeah you UGLY!

Side notes:
* Kitties are still milking it. Getting better though. Tommy curled up in bed with me last night while I read my book and licked my forearm. He hasn't done that since the surgery!
* I am drinking Starbucks coffee and anytime now, my brain is going to start bouncing around in my head. (I am not allowed to have caffeine but break the rules from time to time. Besides, who wouldn't break the rules for something that said "WHITE CHOCOLATE MOCHA"??)
* I forgot my glasses this morning so I'm squinting around like a little old lady.
* 6 days and counting for tonsil removal!
* Just finished my Starbucks.

Prayer Request...for all of you out there that pray...
~ Please pray for my friend Kelsey.
~ Keep praying for my dad?

I'm gone for now. Have a great weekend everyone!

posted by Susan @ 2:46 PM   4 comments
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Thursday 13 about me!
Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Things about Susan!

1. I am 27 years old
2. I have one brother, who lives in Florida
3. His name is James and he's 21
4. My parents are divorced and have been for 8 years
5. I have 5 tattoos
6. I have two cats :)
7. I work for a company that makes toilets
8. I am so not a morning person
9. I will only drink Starbucks coffee
10. My biggest dream is to get married and have children
11. I am hopelessly addicted to Sprite
12. My name was going to be Kelly
13. My birthday is December 13th

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

posted by Susan @ 7:53 AM   3 comments
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
To blog or not to blog? That is the question.

So, I am a tad depressed/disappointed today.

I'm beginning to think that maybe posting this blog was a dumb idea. I wanted people to read about my life, I wanted to make new friends, I wanted to write funny/touching far I think I'm failing. I have made a few new friends (Jeana! Kelsey! Faith!) I guess I just thought that more people would view my blog and maybe I'd meet a ton of people and have a blog "following". I read other people's sites and they have all these links to ALL of their friends and I have like 3 people. Granted, they are great people, don't get me wrong, I just thought...(sigh) Okay, so maybe I don't know what I thought.

I'm just whining....


posted by Susan @ 2:29 PM   2 comments
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
My first time...being tagged! :)
The Meme that never ends!
10 Years Ago:
* I was still in high school
* I believed that having "bangs" was cool
* I did not have my drivers license
* I had no tattoos
* I had a part time job

5 years ago:
* I had been at my job for 3 years
* I was about 30-40 pounds lighter
* I had one tattoo
* My grandfather was alive
* I was growing my hair out (no more bangs)

1 year ago:
* I was in a semi-serious relationship
* I decided I was fat
* Had 3 tattoos
* Was wearing make up all the time
* My grandfather was still alive

* Was at the hospital, in the waiting room
* Talked to my grandmother and uncle (for the first time, in 10 years.)
* Started reading a new book
* Felt really lonely waiting
* Felt very thankful that my father made it through the surgery

5 songs I know all the words to:
* Amazing Grace
* Sweet Home Alabama - Lynard Skynard
* I Go Back - Kenny Chesney
* You Are My Sunshine
* Break Away - Kelly Clarkson

5 things I’d do with a million dollars:
* Pay off all debt for myself and my mother
* Help my father
* Get braces
* Buy a BMW

5 places I’d run away to:
* Mackinaw Island, MI
* Nashville, TN
*Ft. Myers, FL
*My room
*My best friend's

5 things I’d never wear:
*Glasses bigger than my face
*Leg warmers
*Floresent anything
*A belly shirt

5 favorite toys:
* DVD Player
* Gambeboy Advance
* Play Station
* Cell Phone
* Do my cats count?

5 favorite books or TV shows:
* Will & Grace
* Survivor
* Anything on HG TV
* What Not to Wear
* Any books by James Patterson

5 greatest joys:
* My mom
* Chester
* Tommy
* Children
* Music

5 people I tag for this:
Do I even know 5 people that blog that weren't already tagged? :)

posted by Susan @ 9:40 AM   0 comments
It's a heart day...
Hi there! I am sorry I could not update before now. I have not had access to a computer.
Dad's surgery was yesterday. It started about 1PM and was finished around 8PM. I am not sure what to say as far as how he is doing. I saw him not long after I talked to the doctor and he was just as expected. He was really swollen (fluid) and had all these monitors hooked up to him. They are going to take him off the ventilator this morning and then we'll see how it goes!
Thank you all very much for all the prayers and thoughts. I am very sorry I could not update until now.
Side notes:
*Kitties are home! Still kind of limping around (at this point, I think they are milking it.) but doing good! Slowly getting back to their old selves.
*I get my tonsils out in exactly 10 days.
*I got my first meme tag from Kelsey! I am excited and will be working on that today.
Thanks again for all the prayers!

posted by Susan @ 8:21 AM   1 comments
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Open Heart Surgery and more...

Dad's surgery will be in the morning, around 10 or 11AM EST time. He is currently in ICU and will remain there until the procedure in the morning. I LOVE the hospital he is at and feel a little better now that I have more answers on what and when and who...

The surgery itself will take 4-6 hours. "Plan on 6" they said. We're looking at a 4 to 5 vessell by pass. (His heart was over loaded with blockage). It's going to be a seriously long 6 hours by myself at the hospital. I think my ex (who is peeking around again) may wait with me. Who knows. I went to the library at lunch and got two books to read and I'll take my cell phone to play games. I will not have access to the internet so I will not be able to blog but some how, some way, I will get an update to all of you. (The whole 3 of you that read my blog. lol)

Thanks in advance for the prayers. I love you guys!

Kitty update - Less than an hour to go! :)

Love to all of you!
posted by Susan @ 3:43 PM   3 comments
The verdict...
My father is having emergancy open-heart surgery this afternoon or tomorrow morning. His cardiac cath showed most of his arteries are blocked 80% or more and according to the doctor, "He's a walking time bomb." I am a wreck.

Side notes:
*Kitties come home today. Vet said they are fine. (So no innocent vet techs will die Jeana!)
*Faith's son got mostly good news at the doctor. Thanks for the prayer.

I'm kind of numb right now and really at a loss on what to say. I'll try to write more later.

posted by Susan @ 9:15 AM   0 comments
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Let's talk about how much this day stinks!
Yes, I said this day stinks! Want to know why? Well, I'm going to tell you whether you want to know or not (so, stop reading now if you don't want to know!)

I called around 9AM to the vets office. (Isn't 9AM supposed to be the magic time? See last blog about kitties. 9AM ... anytime after 9AM...) I will spare you the recount of the entire conversation but I am NOT, I repeat, NOT happy.

My cats WILL NOT be coming home today. Tommy ("the Big one") decided when they took the bandages off this morning that he would shake his paws, causing the clots and the stitching to bust out and now he is bleeding. The vet tech said that otherwise he is fine but is just bleeding and they would like to keep him another night to make sure the bleeding stops and clots begin to form again. Chester, ("the other big one") is doing just fine, is up and moving around and could come home at anytime. I was informed by the nice, little vet tech (note sarcasm here) that Tommy is a little more ...what is the word she used....high strung then the other and they figured he might need to stay an extra night.

Let's get this straight Missy....MY CAT IS NOT HIGH STRUNG! He simply is a little more nervous and skittesh than his brother and therefore needs more love and attention. Secondly, do NOT tell my cat that he is high strung. He is simply a nervous kitty. (Hello, I so did not say this to her but you thought I did right?)

So, here I am, calling my mother and telling her "I told you this was a bad idea. " (in my now look what you've done tone)

I realize that I am probably not being very adult about this. I realize I should more than likely grow up. (But then, I wouldn't be this much fun right?) I just love my cats very much. We've been through a lot together. They were a big support group to me (notice I said BIG) when grandpa died and have kept me company when I needed someone the most. Perhaps, I am HIGH STRUNG as well? :) You think?

Okay, back to this day father is in the hospital. Years of drinking and smoking and just being an over all jerk, is finally catching up with him. His blood pressure is high and he's having some chest pain. He is having a cardiac cath done this morning. (As a matter of fact, I am typing this blog from the hospital.) I am worried about him, but I also wonder how long this is going to go on before there is nothing they can do. (Yes, I realize that I may sound like a mean and hateful person talking about my father this's really not the case. I love my father very, very much. He's just more like my child then he is my father. Alot of abuse has happened in my home because of my father's alcoholism and it's hard for me sometimes to be very sympathic.)

So, dad is in the hospital, no kitties coming home...I woke up late this morning (from being up and down most of the night...) I am hungry....tired...worried...


On a lighter note, please pray for my friend Faith. She is taking her son to the doctor today. Please pray for her family. Thank you!

By the way, could I have used anymore of these thingys in this blog (( )) ?

Going to check on dad now.

posted by Susan @ 12:10 PM   2 comments
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Update on the Kitties!
I really think that the people at the vet's office think I am a freak. Which, I guess I kind of am. I just tell people that I am normal and everyone else is weird. (That's what I tell myself anyway). is the conversation:

At Noon EST:
"Miamitown Pet Hospital?"
Me - "Hi, yes, I'd like to check on my cats."
MPH - "Name please?"
Me - "Tommy and Chester."
MPH - "Oh yes. They are fine." (At this point, I am thinking, Oh no, she knows them by name...what has happened?)
Me - "OH! Okay? You don't have to go and check?"
MPH - "No, I just came back from there. They just came out of surgery and are waking up."
Me - "Can I maybe pick them up tonight?"
MPH - "No."
Me - (making awful faces into the phone like I am a 2 year old) "Oh."
MPH - "You can pick them up after 9AM tomorrow."
Me - "Thank you."

4PM EST Update:
"Miamitown Pet Hosptial?""
Me - "Hi, I'd like to check on my cats."
MPH - "Name?"
Me - "Tommy and Chester."
MPH - "Please hold, I'll go check."
Me - (sigh)
MPH - "Hi. Yes, they are fine. Still kind of groggy from the surgery but doing well."
Me - (Already I am liking her MUCH BETTER than the other girl.) "Great! How long before they are completely awake?"
MPH - "Depends on the cats really. No offense but these are big cats, it may take them longer."
Me - (DID SHE JUST CALL MY CATS BIG???!?!?!?!?) "Big cats?"
MPH - "Well, ma'am, they are really big. "
Me - "Explain big."
MPH - "They are just bigger than normal. Most cats are 5-7 pounds and about 1 foot long (fully stretched). Tommy is almost 12 pounds and Chester is almost 11...both of them are over 2 feet long."
Me - (putting mommy claws back in) >insert nervous, overreactive giggle< "Oh, so they are okay and normal?"
MPH - "Yes ma'am. Chester is already up and moving around a little. Tommy is just laying there."
Me - "He's a little skittesh."
MPH - "I noticed that when you dropped them off."
Me - "I am glad they are okay. Thank you so much."
MPH - "You are welcome ma'am."
Me - "Buh-bye."


But at least I love my cats.

posted by Susan @ 3:56 PM   3 comments
Protests at Solider Funerals
A girl at work sent this article to me and I think I should post this for everyone to see. This really disgusts me and makes me sad that there are groups like this. Please pray for our country and our legislators.

Legislators Consider Banning Protests At Funerals
POSTED: 2:46 pm EST February 6, 2006
UPDATED: 2:55 pm EST February 6, 2006


States are rushing to limit when and where people may protest at funerals -- all because of a small fundamentalist Kansas church whose members picket soldiers' burials, arguing that Americans are dying for a country that harbors homosexuals.

During the 1990s, the Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka, Kan., went around picketing the funerals of AIDS victims with protest signs that read, "God Hates Fags." But politicians began paying more attention recently when church members started showing up at the burials of soldiers and Marines killed in Afghanistan and Iraq.

Legislation is being considered in at least 14 states, and several of the bills are moving quickly, with backing from legislative leaders and governors. In GOP-controlled Ohio -- where church members have protested the proposal -- the Senate president has pledged to hear the bill even though it's offered by a Democrat.

If they pass, the bills could set up a clash between privacy and free speech rights, and court challenges are almost certain."We're not proposing to silence the speech of the Westboro Baptist Church, as offensive as most of us find that," said Kansas Senate Majority Leader Derek Schmidt, a Republican. Instead, he said, he is trying to achieve a balance that respects "the rights of families to bury their dead in peace."

The church has about 75 members, most of them belonging to the extended family of Westboro Baptist's pastor, the Rev. Fred Phelps. The church is an independent congregation that preaches a literal reading of the Bible.

Shirley Phelps-Roper, Phelps' daughter and an attorney for the church, said states cannot interfere with their message that the soldiers were struck down by God because they were fighting for a country that harbors homosexuals and adulterers.

Lawmakers are "trying to introduce something that will make them feel better about the holes we're punching in the facade they live under," Phelps-Roper said. "If they pass a law that gets in our way, they will be violating the Constitution, and we will sue them for that."

Among the states considering such measures: Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Missouri, Nebraska, Ohio, Oklahoma, South Dakota, Vermont, Virginia, West Virginia and Wisconsin.

Some of the bills specify noisy, disruptive behavior or signs with "fighting words," as in Wisconsin. Some bar protests within one or two hours before or after a funeral starts; others specify distances ranging from 10 car lengths to five blocks away; some include both.Violations can bring fines of a few hundred dollars, up to 30 days in jail, or more. Wisconsin is calling for fines of up to $10,000; one of five Oklahoma bills would set a one-year jail sentence.

Missouri's bill was named for Army Spc. Edward Lee Myers, 21, whose wife went to his funeral an hour early to try to avoid protesters. They were already across the road, holding signs that read "God Hates Fags" and "God Made IEDs," a reference to roadside bombs.

Her 5-year-old son kept asking why "mean people" were outside, undercover agents were in the church, and she worried that angry relatives might start a fight."

I couldn't even pay my last respects because of everything that was going on," Jean Myers said.Legislation against funeral protests was also introduced in West Virginia last month after a small knot of protesters from Westboro Baptist demonstrated outside a memorial for the 12 men killed in the Sago Mine disaster. The protesters held signs reading, "Thank God for Dead Miners," "God Hates Your Tears" and "Miners in Hell," arguing that the miners' deaths were a sign of God's wrath at America for tolerating gays."

It's just inhuman for a group that says it's coming in the name of the Lord to protest a funeral," said state Delegate Jeff Eldridge, a co-sponsor of the West Virginia bill.

If such restrictions are challenged, the courts will probably look to rulings on laws governing abortion protests, constitutional scholars said.

The U.S. Supreme Court struck down a Florida ban on peaceful picketing within 300 feet of an abortion clinic, but allowed restrictions on behavior that impedes access to a clinic. However, the courts have allowed restrictions on picketing in front of doctors' houses, saying privacy trumps free speech.

The question is whether a church, funeral home or cemetery is considered private or public during a ceremony, said Eugene Volokh, a law professor at the University of California at Los Angeles.
posted by Susan @ 7:51 AM   0 comments
Monday, February 06, 2006
Claws or no claws?
So, my cats (Tommy and Chester) have appointments today to get declawed. I am kind of struggling with this.

We have to drop them off tonight and the surgery will be done in the morning. We can pick them up on Wednesday after 9AM. We have to clean out their litter boxes and add newspaper for at least the first week. The stitches are internal and should dissolve. Sounds simple doesn't it?

I am freaking out! The thought of my cats being in pain just simply breaks my heart. And what are they going to think when we drop them off tonight, in some strange place, with other cats...and they have to sleep in cages....and and and...?????

Will they hate us when we pick them up? Are they going to think we're evil for causing them pain? Are we causing them serious emotional tramua? Will I need to find a kitty shrink?

Yes, I realize that this is done everyday and "normal" people would just drop their cats off and pick them up when scheduled. I AM NOT NORMAL!

Can you pray for cats? I have been praying all day that they do not hate us, that they make it through the surgery fine, that they are able to get plenty of rest tonight and tomorrow since they will be oh so far away from home....Can all of my "blogging" friends please pray for my cats? PLEASE?

On a side note...I have had lots of questions about God lately. I heard this song the other day...I wonder if it was meant for me to hear this song?

Nichole Nordeman - What If From the album Brave
What if you’re right?

And he was just another nice guy
What if you’re right?
What if it’s true?
They say the cross will only make a fool of you
And what if it’s true?
What if he takes his palace in history
With all the prophets and the kings
Who taught us love and came in peace
But then the story ends
What then?
(Chours)But what if you’re wrong?
What if there’s more?
What if there’s hope you never dreamed of hoping for?
What if you jump?
And just close your eyes?
What if the arms that catch you, catch you by surprise?
What if He’s more than enough?
What if it’s love?
What if you dig, What if you dig
Way down deeper than your simple-minded friends
What if you dig?
What if you find
A thousand more unanswered questions inside
That’s all you find
What if you pick apart the logic
And begin to poke the holes
What if the crown of thorns is no more
Then folklore that must be told and retold
(Chours)You’ve been running as fast as you can
You’ve been looking for a place you can land so long
But what if you’re wrong?
What if you jump?
And just close your eyes?
What if the arms that catch you, catch you by surprise?
What if He’s more than enough?
What if it’s love?
posted by Susan @ 12:53 PM   1 comments
Friday, February 03, 2006
There are good people out there!
Ok, so I just got a response to my blog about my grandfather that knocked my socks off and because of it, my slightly large butt, will be in church (some way some how) on Sunday. (Hopefully the feeling of stupidity while in church, will not be there.)

I just want to give a special thanks to HolyMama ( Your post really made me feel good and made me cry even! Thanks for making me feel loved though you don't even know me. I will keep everyone posted on how my weekend goes (and hopefully how church was Sunday morning!)

posted by Susan @ 4:06 PM   2 comments
Can you visit family after you die?
This blog may be a little weird but I need to get this off my chest and maybe someone will view my blog and let me know their thoughts. I'd really like other people's thoughts on this.

My grandfather recently passed away in 11/05. I was very close to him. My grandmother and I were once very close as well, but in the past five years she's gotten dementia and our relationship changed drastically. My grandfather (rest his soul) quickly took her place in my life and we became fast friends. (Not that we weren't friends before mind you.) My grandfather has played a huge part in my life concerning my outlook on life and my feelings about God and faith. Any time I had questions in my life about anything, he was the man I called. Over the past years, I've taken one week of my two weeks vacation and spent it with him and my grandmother in Florida, making trips to the beach, eating Grandma's cookin' and lazing around. My grandparents always said that they felt so honored that their 9 grandchildren would come to visit them so much and how blessed they were to have such a loving family. I enjoyed these times more than anyone knows and am so blessed to have all those memories of them.

Grandpa arrived here in Ohio in October. My first night seeing him, I was shocked. A once tall, broad man now appeared shrunken and tired, his face hollow and his body shallow with weight loss. His eyes had the same spark, though now dimed but he seemed tired and wistfull. I ran to greet him as though I was 5 again and was saddened by the frail arms that hugged me and his gruff voice (once soothing) mumbling how glad he was to see me. His time here in Ohio was short, as his failing health caught up with him after a week and half here and he was quickly placed in the hospital.

Among the doctors and nurses, my grandfather slipped away slowly day by day and I suddenly found myself preparing my heart and mind for his death. He died a short 6 days after he was admitted.

I was able to share my thoughts and feelings with him before his death. I remember vividly pressing my warm hand into his cool one, tears streaming down my face as I finally told my grandfather what a huge role he had played in my life. My feelings like my tears, gushed out and at times I found it hard to even catch my breath while I was pouring my heart out to him. It was important to me to let him know how much he had changed me as a person, how much he meant to me and how much, if something were to happen, I would miss him. His now gruff voice, soothed my soul as he told me how grateful he was to have me as his granddaughter and how my life would go on, I was young mind you and how much he loved me and my family. He then included that should I ever want to see him again, in Heaven, I would have to straighten up my life and find the Lord. He impressed to me that I had already been shown the way by him and my upbringing and how much he wanted to see me on that "great other side." I was moved in ways I never imagined. All this week (of his hospitalization) I had never once thought of God or of Heaven. I had only questioned in my selfish manner, why this was happening and why was my grandpa so sick, after being such a wonderful man! No one deserved to be sick or die this way! Now, I sat stunned that even in his greatest illness, he was "witnessing" to me about his faith and his God. People from his church gathered around him and my family during his final hours, praying and "witnessing" as well.

I have, since his death, been giving God a lot of thought and trying to find ways to find myself and the Lord. (Can anyone help me here?)

Anyway, back to the question at hand. Wendesday night, I had a dream. I dreamt that I was in this great hall and there were two chairs and a table. After taking a seat, I heard someone enter behind me. It was my grandpa!!! He now had no cane, his limp was gone and his eyes had that sparkle back. He sat across from me and slid his hand across the table to mine. I remember looking down and seeing his same hands, not older or youngers, with the same spots as the last time I held his hand. But he was dead wasn't he? He asked how I was and I told him I missed him terribly, not a day goes by I don't miss you and think of you grandpa.....His smile lit the room. He told me that he loved me and missed me as well. He knew the things that troubled my heart (I'll save all of that for another blog) and told me not to worry about certain things as they were not meant to be and to stop being "weird" about another thing that was troubling me. He then asked the question that broke my heart....How is Betsy? (My grandmother, his wife of 64 years.) (After his death, we had her moved to a nursing home here in Ohio.) I told him that she was okay and that she missed him so much, it was heartbreaking. He told me to tell her it wouldn't be long now....(I am tearing up now!) He then announced that he had to go....I begged him, now crying in my dream not to leave me again, I needed him in my life...He kept saying that he loved me and that he had to leave and that it was so wonderful where he was....then as quickly as he came, he was gone.

I sat straight up in the bed, around 3:30Am on Thursday...tears streaming down my face.

Can you visit someone after you die?
posted by Susan @ 12:40 PM   5 comments
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Second Time around!
So, I hopped around yesterday and read some blogs, trying to see what others put out there so I could get some ideas myself. I didn't realize there would be such variety. So, I decided, I'm just going to do my own thing (which I probably would have done anyway) so I thought I'd start off with a little about myself.

I am a 27 year old, single female. I live in Ohio with my mother and work for a local transportation/distribution company. Most people think it's strange that I live with my mother but we are mostly room-mates than anything else.

My parents are divorced and have been for almost 8 years now. My father is an alcoholic and mostly like my child more than my father.

My brother is 21 years old and lives in Florida.

Here are some tidbits of info:
1. What is your occupation? Bath & Kitchen Logistics
2. What was the last book you read? Wild Swans
3. What are you listening to right now? People talking and typing around me (am at work)
4. What was the last thing you ate? A chocolate chip granola bar
5. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Blue

7. How is the weather right now? Cool - about 48 degress
8. Last person you spoke to on the phone? My friend Kristy
9. What do you do in your spare time? Read
10. Favorite drink? Sweet tea
11. Favorite sport to watch? Football
12. Have you ever dyed your hair? Yes

13. Do you wear contacts or glasses? Glasses
14. Pets? 2 cats
15. Favorite month? October

16. Who is your favorite singers? Too many to list
17. What was the last movie you watched? The Gospel
18. Favorite day of the year? December 13th (My birthday!!)
19. What do you do to vent anger? Say bad words a lot

20. What was your favorite toy as a child? Cabbage Patch Kids
21. Fall or spring? Fall

22. Hugs or kisses? Both
23. Cherry or blueberry? Blue berry
24. Living arrangements? With my mother

25. When was the last time you cried? 1/31/06
26. What is on the floor of your closet? shoes

27. What did you do last night? Had dinner and read
28. What inspires you? My mother
29. Favorite smell? Pumpkin spice
30. What are you most afraid of? Being alone
31. Do you like plain, cheese, or spicy burgers? cheese
32. Favorite car? BMW SUV
33. Favorite dog-breed? Golden Retriever
34. Number of keys on your key ring? 7
35. How many years at your current job? 8

37. Favorite day of the week? Saturday
38. How many states have you lived in? 2
39. How many cities have you lived in? 3
40. Favorite Actor? Morgan Freeman
41. Favorite Animal? Dog
42. Favorite Past Time? Scrap booking and reading
43. Favorite Comedian? Ron White
44. Favorite Sound? My cats purring
45. Turn-offs: Men who don't follow through
46. Favorite Christmas Cartoon: The Grinch Who Stole Christmas
47. Favorite Cartoon Character: Spongebob Square Pants
48. What makes you smile? Anything fun

Four TV Shows I Love To Watch: Survivor, Will & Grace, CSI, Golden Girls
Four Places I Have Been On Vacation: Alabama, Tennessee, Florida, Michigan
Websites I Visit Daily:
Four Favorite Foods: Barbeque, Italian, Burgers, Skyline
Four Places I Would Rather Be Right Now: Home asleep, shopping, on a beach somewhere, did I mention home sleeping?

I guess that's all for now! :)

posted by Susan @ 7:37 AM   3 comments
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
First Time
This is my first time using a blog and I'm a little nervous about what to type. I've heard mixed things about blogging.

I wonder if this is like an online journal that everyone can read or if it's just a place to post thoughts and feelings.

I'll look into this a little more and surf around, see what others wrote.

Then, I will write more! :)

posted by Susan @ 9:37 AM   0 comments
Please don't hang up on me just yet...try me out.
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Name: Susan
Home: Hamilton, Ohio, United States
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