Please don't hang up
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Happy Halloween!

posted by Susan @ 8:44 AM   7 comments
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Emergancy Broadcast System
Ok. So it's time for confession. I haven't been blogging because like my friend Debbie said, I've been trying to "figure some things out".

I'm at a place in my life where I am very unhappy. I'm unhappy with so many things.
My father has left the nursing home. For awhile I believed this would be a good thing until my father called me almost hysterical, claiming he couldn't live alone, he was so sick and could I take him to his mothers. As most of you know, I am not a huge fan of his mother. I believe that she causes more problems for those around her then anything else. Well, that was the week that I was so sick. I could not take him. My uncle David who lives with her drove up here from Cincinnati (about an hour) and picked him up. Well, it was barely 5 days later and she is calling me, telling me I have to come and get my father, because he's drinking and she is afraid for her life.

My brother was home at this point so James and his girlfriend made the trip to Cincinnati with me to get my father. Sure enough, he was drunk. We drove him home and in his empty apartment, I found empty beer and liquor cans. I decided that I could do no more. I worked at my full time job and my second job and just basically tried to stay away from him. He would call me for things and I would not be able to help him because I was working or had other things going on.

Last Monday, my brother was arrested. He had a felony warrant out for his arrest and was picked up for it at our home. I called my father that Monday (we had plans to go to dinner) and explained the situation to him. I could not make dinner because the police were at my home, they had surrounded my house with their guns drawn, were in the process of obtaining a search warrant and I had to go. My father was so rude about it and so careless, it hurt me so much. That Wednesday, I got another almost hysterical call from my father saying he had to go back and stay with his mother because he could not live alone. He was so sick and was falling all the time. Please understand, that for the two weeks he had been gone, I begged him to return to the nursing home.

He's back at my grandmothers house now and she is calling me ALL the time, telling me he needs help or that he's fallen (don't get me wrong, I appreciate it). She called me very upset last Thursday because my father has urinated on himself and had fallen in her hallway. I advised her to call 9-1-1 and then waited to hear something from them. About 7:30 that night (3 hours later) my father finally called and explained that he did not go to the hospital because he "did not feel like it". So, yet again, I was upset and worried for NO REASON.

Saturday, she called me because she was arguing again with my uncle and wanted me to drive
down there and do something about it. I had to work. And could someone please explain to me what I am supposed to do about a 45 year old man, arguing with his mother????

Another call today, my father is giving his brother money so he can go and buy alcohol for the two of them and I AM SUPPOSED TO DO SOMETHING. I'm just at a loss. I'm tired of all of it.

I'm tired of helping my dad just to have it thrown back at me. The cancer is not gone, the drinking is going to make it spread faster, he will NOT help himself. He is living in an apartment that has nothing in it but a bed and a television. He will not go back to the nursing home. He doesn't want to lose his Social Security check. The catch is, how do I walk away from this? I've been in therapy, I'm on medicine, I have even tried to kill myself to make it all stop. (Sorry, don't be upset, that was last year.) I've tried walking away from him but that is so hard. HE IS MY FATHER! How do you walk away from that?

In two weeks, my grandpa will have been gone a year. I miss him so much. I wish he was here to tell me what to do.

I have no help here. My mother doesn't get involved, because that is her ex-husband. My brother really wants nothing to do with him. His family won't help me. They really want nothing to do with him. I have NO help here. I have support but NO ONE to help me. My mother says I should get used to it, this is my life but I need help so bad.

I am very depressed again. This is all out of control.

Yes, I know, some of you are out there saying "Give it to God." "God will help you." That is hard for me to do. I know it shouldn't be, but it is.

To top it all off, my mother and I are fighting, my brother is in jail again, my pilonidal cyst is back - go to for more information - my second job is taking advantage of me...

I just need it all to end. So, of course, I turn to you all. I am not going to ask for prayer because I believe I have asked for enough prayer from all of you. Please just keep me in your thoughts for awhile and if you have any helpful suggestions, let me know.

Until this all straightens out, I will be out of commission for awhile. I just can't bring myself to blog about any of this so that is why this is all one big BLAH blog. Here it is.

I hope that you all are okay and don't hold it against me for sharing all of this.

Hopefully, I will be back soon.
posted by Susan @ 7:50 AM   9 comments
Monday, October 23, 2006
We interrupt this broadcast...
I am sorry I have not written. I am in a funk right now. Not much to say but so much to write about if that make sense.

I hope to be back to my normal self soon! I am still surfing and visiting everyone! Just not writing myself.

Love and blessings to all,
posted by Susan @ 1:18 PM   2 comments
Friday, October 13, 2006
Feast #115

Approximately how many hours per week do you spend reading other blogs?
5 to 10 hours

Your community wants everyone to give one thing to put into a time capsule. What item would you choose to include?
Probably the paper from my birth. It's from 1978, so it would have the news from that time in there.

What is the most interesting tourist attraction you've ever visited?
Mackinaw Island, MI

Main Course
If you could give an award to anyone for anything, who would it be and what would the award be titled?
My mother - World's Greatest Everything!

What do you think your favorite color reveals about your personality?
Blue - there are so many shades, I think it would show my moody side.

More about the Friday Feast meme

posted by Susan @ 8:26 AM   2 comments
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Describe Me!
I found this meme over at Mom RN2 place. I thought it was very cool so I am stealing it (as usual). :)

I'm supposed to invite you to leave me a comment with the one word you think best describes me. You may explain your choice if you want to.

So, play along please. I think it's interesting.

I'm going to tag....Blond Girl! I know she loves these meme things as much as I do.

I also want to tag anyone else who wants to play along.

Okay - so go on...think and leave me my descriptive word. You can explain if you want. :)
posted by Susan @ 4:26 PM   2 comments
13 Reasons I love Fall!
13 Reasons I love Fall!
  1. The change in the weather. I love warmer days and cooler nights.
  2. The colors of the leaves!
  3. Apple Cider.
  4. Fall decorations.
  5. I love wearing jeans and sweaters.
  6. The new fashions come out.
  7. Fall scents. Like the new ones at Yankee Candle!
  8. One step closer to Christmas.
  9. Carving pumpkins.
  10. Halloween.
  11. Thanksgiving. (does that count as the fall or the winter?)
  12. Candy corn (which only seems to come out in the stores in the fall months)
  13. Fall festivals.

More about the Thursday Thirteen meme

PS ~ Thanks so much to Chaotic Mom for making these banners up for me! Go on, check her out! She's very sweet and very talented.
posted by Susan @ 7:48 AM   7 comments
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
I am sorry I have been neglecting you. Last week, I was going to make a considerable effort to post more often! I really was. I even had my friend Chaotic Mom make me up some cool banners for Thursday Thirteen and a new meme I wanted to join...Friday Feast.

BUT NO! Sunday I started feeling puny. I slept most of the day. Monday, was HORRIBLE. I was all congested, I knew I had a fever, my body ached...I just felt bad. I stuck the day out here at work and started to feel somewhat better by that afternoon. I even worked my part time job at LB

Tuesday morning was worse. I had a temp of a 101, I couldn't breath, I could barely talk... it was bad!

Each day got considerably worse. Wednesday I went to the doctor and got the trusty antibiotic. Thursday, after one day on the meds, I woke up to my ears bleeding, my temp one degree higher, my body just ached so much I could barely move.

Back to the trusty doctor (seeing someone different in the practice this time.) to find out that I have a double ear infection, both of my ear drums have ruptured from the infection, I have a sinus infection and a touch of the flu. I was one sick girly.

So, a stronger dose of meds and some over the counter stuff and by Sunday, I felt like a new person. Today is my last day on the antibiotic. I still feel kind of achy and I have a runny nose but I am so much better than this time last week!

In other news:

My brother came home. I am not sure for how long but he is here and it is nice to see him.

My dad moved out of the nursing home into an apartment and now is sick again. He's thinking about talking to the apartment manager and maybe going back to the nursing home. He's thinking he may have made a move too soon. If you could please, and you don't mind, pray.

My friend Josh was deployed to Kuwait. He also just got orders that he will probably not stay there, he will more than likely be moved to Iraq. He's left his wife and kids at home. It's been a really tough time for all of them so if you could please, add them to your prayer list as well. I know that they would really appreciate it.

Well, I am off to take my meds and start work. Just wanted to give you a quick update to let you all know that I haven't died or anything! :)

See you tomorrow for TT13.

posted by Susan @ 7:42 AM   3 comments
Friday, September 29, 2006
Blonde Girl's Birthday!

Tomorrow is my friend Blonde Girl's birthday! Because she is so nice to me and wrote a post in my honor, I decided to make her a birthday cake.
And it's chocolate! :) So, have a piece AFTER you go over and wish her happy birthday.

Happy Birthday BlondeGirl!!
posted by Susan @ 1:04 PM   4 comments
You Belong in Fall

Intelligent, introspective, and quite expressive at times...
You appreciate the changes in color, climate, and mood that fall brings
Whether you're carving wacky pumpkins or taking long drives, autumn is a favorite time of year for you
posted by Susan @ 12:40 PM   0 comments
Please don't hang up on me just yet...try me out.
About Me

Name: Susan
Home: Hamilton, Ohio, United States
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"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results" Einstein

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